Healing Your Inner Child: A Journey of Self-Discovery, Growth, and Embracing Positive Narratives

by | Mar 31, 2023

Have you ever stopped to think about what you would say to your younger self if you could go back in time? It’s a powerful exercise that can help us reflect on our past experiences and how they have shaped us into the people we are today. Would you choose to reveal the details of the future to your younger self, or would you prefer to protect them from pain and allow them to relish their carefree innocence?

Sadly, traumatic events can occur at any age and leave a lasting impression on our beliefs about ourselves and the world. Mistreatment, abuse, and neglect from family members or peers may lead to the development of damaging beliefs about ourselves, such as feeling unworthy, unloved, or even unsafe. These negative beliefs can become deeply embedded in our minds, creating neural patterns that perpetuate these adverse narratives. However, there’s hope, as we possess the ability to challenge these negative beliefs and rewire our neural networks. While this journey isn’t easy, it’s certainly attainable with the right tools and support.

Beginning the Journey of Challenging Negative Beliefs

Beginning the journey of challenging negative beliefs often starts with self-reflection. By asking ourselves tough questions, such as when we first recall feeling unworthy or abandoned, we can start to uncover the sources of these negative beliefs. Another option is to seek help from a mental health professional or counselor, who can offer guidance and support while we explore our inner world.

Transforming Negative Beliefs and Embracing Positive Stories

The Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy model is one method that can assist in healing our inner child. This model views our psyche as a family, with various parts of ourselves assuming distinct roles and functions. Our wounded inner child, self-critic, and anxiety are all trying to safeguard our emotional well-being.

In IFS therapy, we work to identify and ease the burdens of these injured aspects of ourselves, allowing us to move towards a more fulfilling life. The therapy model can involve visualizations, journaling, and conversations with our inner child, allowing us to understand their needs and find ways to meet them. Through this process, we can create a more harmonious relationship with ourselves, leading to deeper healing and transformation.

Understanding and Releasing Negative Messages

If we could go back in time and visit our younger selves, what would we say? What did that part of us need at the time? The goal is not to change the past, but rather to add positive narratives to our neural network to help us cope with future triggers.

Transforming our negative beliefs and embracing positive stories is essential for healing our inner child. Positive stories can encompass any experience or thought that brings us happiness, contentment, and a sense of purpose.

Examples of uplifting narratives might involve spending time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies that bring us joy, or achieving a personal goal. To integrate positive stories into our lives, we can actively seek out and cherish these moments. This can be done by maintaining a gratitude journal, crafting a vision board, or simply setting aside time each day to reflect on the positive experiences we’ve had.

By concentrating on positive narratives and reminding ourselves that we are stronger now and can stand up for ourselves, we can reinforce the neural connections that support these beliefs and eventually enjoy a more rewarding and gratifying life.

the negative messages we’ve internalized about ourselves frequently originate not from within but from those who influenced us early in life. By identifying and releasing these harmful beliefs, we can repurpose the energy once spent clinging to them into a powerful force for reshaping our perspectives and ways of living. In this process of transformation, we not only alter our self-view in the present but also fundamentally change how we navigate conflict in our relationships, including tendencies toward pursuit or withdrawal, and how we reconcile internal struggles, paving the way for a journey of profound healing and self-discovery.

The true healing comes from the integration between our adult and child parts, being the parent we never had, and honoring what we should have received. This is particularly impactful when we consider how our inner child’s experiences influence our relationship expectations as we grow older.

Healing the Inner Child

In Rick Hanson’s book “Buddha’s Brain,” he discusses the common saying in neuroscience, “neurons that fire together, wire together.” This means that over time, the more we hear and experience negative narratives, the more we interpret them as truth. But, we can use this same principle to our advantage by focusing on positive narratives and experiences to strengthen those neural connections.

When I’ve used the Internal Family Systems model in therapy sessions, I’ve been fascinated by how the self can naturally heal itself. By asking clients what they would tell their younger selves, they often know what they would have needed or wanted at the time. With safety and a healthy therapeutic relationship, we can be guided to go back and heal those parts of ourselves.

Final Thoughts

Talking to our younger selves can be a wonderful tool for personal growth and healing. We may remodel our neural pathways and live a more fulfilling life by challenging negative ideas, getting help, and focusing on good narratives. Remember that you are more resilient now than you were then, and you can defend and care for your inner child. The quest to cure your inner child is in your hands, and it is a worthwhile undertaking. It’s not an easy process, and understanding the origins of these messages takes time and empathy. However, with patience and support, you may overcome self-limiting beliefs.

In the end, healing your inner child is an adventure of self-discovery and personal growth. It paves the way for self-acceptance and self-love, making it a worthwhile endeavor. By delving into your inner realm, challenging negative beliefs, and embracing uplifting stories, you can build a more vibrant future for yourself. Keep in mind that you don’t need to go through this journey by yourself. Seek the assistance and support you need, and trust in your own ability to heal.

Mara Hirschfeld, LMFT
Mara Hirschfeld, LMFT
I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist and the proud founder of Holding Hope MFT. I created Holding Hope as a space for individuals and couples to delve into their deepest selves, free from the fears of judgment or shame. Through my writing, I strive to cultivate a deeper understanding of mental health topics, breaking down barriers and fostering a more supportive and informed community.

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